Ruby Dreier

Only God knows our story and has written it for His Glory. After hearing Beth Gukenberger share some of her amazing stories of how God has been involved in her Back2Back ministry and life (her book Reckless Faith – is a must read!). I came away with a nugget – Will you let the BUR in your saddle become numb and go on with your easy life or will you AGAPE (love to action) and Do what God has before you. I don’t want to be numb and go on. I would like to live fully and in action where God is leading me in pain or in joy. So, I must be reading His word so I can hear him, I must rest and not strive, BE STILL and know He is God. : ) I don’t want to forget to fly when I think I have to inch along because that is all I see around me. I need to look up to God and do what lies before me. I will remember that He has prepared me for every good work I am to do. It has been 10 years this month since the  loss of our daughter Grace. And in this last month God has pressed us emotionally (adoption journey), encouraged us (a women  – stranger -shared with me, “God says he loves you, not to worry but what you are waiting for is gonna happen”), given us little whispers of his love (a stone carved bench for Grace’s 10th Birthday by a man who has done one at Cheekwood – a special place to me and created the very bench we described to him as what we would like for Grace’s bench!), and pressed some more. I am wanting to feel deeply still and get back up again and continue the journey. Like a rollercoaster – never boring – ups and downs – I choose this for my life not only comfort and pleasure. Heavenly Father, although our lives are full of the unexpected you are solid and sure. Help me to make my way through  mud puddles and skip on mountain tops taking things as they come. Bless me as the battle rages or the blue bird sings. Amen (from Extravagant Grace – Barbara – women of faith)

As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work.We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul -  not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory strength that God gives. It is a strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enought to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. Paul (Colossians 1: 9-12 MSG)

One day I will look back and my life will all make sense. Right now I am struggling with being of good cheer. But, will choose to praise God during this time. Emotionally this verse makes sense to me right now.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9

A great quote from Martin Luther King: ” These pains and troubles here are like the type that printers set. When we look at them, we see them backwards, and they seem to make no sense and have no meaning.  But up there, when the Lord God prints out our life to come, we will find they make splendid reading.” What an amazing man he was. One day I would like to meet him and talk with him. So, tomorrow I will choose Joy! Joy

comes in the morning.

The past two week in Matthew’s four year old class we studied about Peter stepping out of the boat and trusting Jesus and not looking at the circumstances around him or he would sink. God has been telling me Trust me, it may not look like what you think it should just trust Me. So, I am reading Matthew 19:26 With God everything is possible. I am choosing to believe this. Plus, As soon as the priests…set foot in the Jordan, its waters…will be cut off. Joshua 3:13 I wonder what God is up to ahead. I always want to know but I know that if I knew some of His plans I would run the other way so I am (wanting to hang on to the edge of the boat) but I am going to step out and keep my eyes on Jesus. I will keep listening and watching and God willing be aware and able to do His will.

Friendships…God has richly blessed us with friends who shared some delicious home cooked Chinese

meals! Wow! It was so wonderful. Especially sharing it with our friends. What a blessing. How amazing that we randomly met this summer and one of my sons has class with their son. Fun loving, kind and full of life is how I think of their family. Thank you Lord for your gracious gift of friends.

Isaiah 43:18-19 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Happy New Year! A New Beginning!

…the power to continue running after a setback, the power to still run with a heavy heart, and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christlike thing. From Streams in the Desert – I never thought about how Christ carried what he knew would be his mission and still kept going, loving and doing what He was here for. Whew. I can’t even imagine the pain in that. This have given me a different perspective on our wait. Gives me hope to continue on the journey and to love where we are with our family. Don’t get me wrong I also need to feel deeply and continue to enjoy life also. I am still working on all of this in my head, heart and life. I am so grateful for the gifts the Lord has given me even the wait. He is doing His plan. A bigger plan and one day I will see it and I can’t wait. So, I will try to remember all the

ways He is leading me and run with patience.

It is time to refile our I 600 A again. Time to get refingerprinted! I am hoping this year Ruby will come home. Perhaps this is the year for us to meet her.

Well, I have to celebrate – not exactly sure why but I need to. Our LID is July of 2007 and our dossier has finally made it throught the review room for our little girl. Wahooo! Although the referrals are still in March of 2006 – why the gap? I keep wishing and praying that things will move forward. I am still hoping and watching. Just wanted to celebrate that mile marker even if it is with me, myself and I. : )

The song my Redeemer by Nicole C. Mullin is running through my head this morning. “My Redeemer comes in power, my Redeemer comes this hour. Oh lifter of my head…” I am grateful for this peaceful time to have some time to rest before our next little one comes and begins a new adventure. My youngest is about to be four and it has been a while since I have had not so busy hands. A different stage with my boys. Jacob wanted to pray for Ruby the other night before bed and he asked me to pray she would come tomorrow! So Sweet! We are learning about waiting on the Lord.

Yesterday we were in the backyard painting, drawing and such and I thought I would show my illustration with a verse that I love. Enjoy.

It is 6:04 a.m. and I just woke up from a great dream. I dreamed we received a letter saying that we were supposed to pick up Ruby July 8th or 18th. That is a wonderful dream to wake up from. So, I thought I would write about it. It is always fun to see what God is doing and usually it is when I look back I can see where He has been in my story. Well, just reading in Streams in the Desert and it has gone straight to my heart. It is about expectantly waiting, which I am hanging onto. I have friends and friends of friends bringing home baby girls and I am so happy for them. I also ache inside and know that is normal. I still am hanging onto my little girl things I have slowly gathered for Ruby which to me is a symbol of expectantly waiting for her. I am not giving them all away because I know God is working.

Here is what I read: Quite often God will ask us to wait before we go,so we may fully recover from our last mission before entering the next stage of our journey and work. – from Days of Heaven upon Earth

Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!

Till next steps made plain will be;

To hear, with the inner hearing,

The Voice that will call for me.

Patiently, hopefully, expectantly, still waiting!

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!

I know though I’ve waited long,

That, while He withholds His purpose,

His waiting cannot be wrong.

After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses…in the desert… Then the Lord said to him, “… Now come, I will send you back to Egypt. ” Acts 7:30, 33-34

It is May and it is a few months from two years from out LID. This is a rare quiet morning where everyone here is asleep but me. That is unusual at 7:25 a.m. So, I thought I would write. I am choosing to trust in my El Shaddai – God is more than enough. He is completely nourishing and satisfying. You can rest knowing He will meet your spiritual, emotional and physical needs. He is your constant sustainer. I can’t wait to see what He does today. I can’t say this is easy waiting but I know their is a bigger story that I can’t see and I can’t wait to see parts of it. I will end with this verse. Trust in the Lord no matter what  it looks like. Gal.1:6-10

He wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. Job 5:18